Monday, November 26, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "Twelve Horny Women"

Quick Review: I have no objections to this week's episode.

Episode Synopsis: In the most important case of his career, Marshall is pitted against his old friend Brad. Meanwhile, the gang recall youthful entanglements with the law and debate over who was the most notorious teenage delinquent -tvguide 

Spoilers ahead, so make sure you've seen the episode before you proceed any further. Seriously, this is a very tense legal thriller and it will keep you guessing to the very end. You will be shocked by all the reveals, and I think you'll want to remain unspoiled. Otherwise when you do watch the episode, you'll see every twist coming, and what's the fun of that? If you are spoiled, don't even think about trying to sue me, because it won't stick. Not only is this spoiler warning iron-clad, I've got a great lawyer who will argue my case in a pair of three-thousand dollar shoes, a powdered wig, and nothing else. Did I mention he was British? Because no one can resist his British accent. I don't know why he wears nothing but that powdered wig to court, though. Quite frankly, I'm a little worried about him. 

Monday, November 19, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "The Stamp Tramp"

Quick Review: This one gets my stamp of approval.

Episode Synopsis: Marshall recommends an old law-school buddy for a position at the firm, but the job interview doesn't quite work out, and Marshall needs to square things with the boss. Meanwhile, Robin helps Barney get back into the swing of things on the gentlemen's-club circuit. -tvguide

Spoilers ahead, so you might want to hold off reading any further until you've watched the episode. I know, it's a tough decision, but seriously, there's no need to hold a press conference. Even if you do use a Brodium. Look, I get it, you think that all of America is eagerly awaiting the direction your fickle heart will take you. Not me, though. Honestly, just send me a tweet and and I'll read it when I get around to it. I just don't have so much free time that I clear my calender to sit around and wait for someone to make up his mind.  Look, watch the episode first or don't, there's no need to be such a diva about it.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

This Relationship Corner: Chores

Ever have one of those "there ought to be a law!" kind of moments, when you get an idea so good you think it should be mandatory for everyone. I had one a while back and I had to share. A couple shouldn't be able to get married until they've spent an afternoon running errands together. I told you it was a good idea, and even if it won't be a law, I think it should be a vital part of pre-marital counseling.

If you've never heard of pre-marital counseling, it's when a couple attends counseling sessions to make sure that they know what they are getting into with marriage. It's the plot of the movie License to Wed. (And if you've never heard of that movie, then this is one of those times when ignorance truly is bliss.) The goal is preventative maintenance, addressing potential problems before you get married so they don't crop up after. It's a great idea, really, and I recommend it to everyone thinking about marriage.

Monday, November 12, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "Splitsville"

Quick Review: Glad that's over with. 

Episode Synopsis: Robin has a problem pulling the trigger on breaking up with Nick, so Barney steps in to help out, while new parents Lily and Marshall look for a way to schedule some private time for themselves. -tvguide 

Spoilers ahead, so you might want to watch the episode before you continue on. And while you're at it, you can do some sit-ups. A few wouldn't kill you. Unless you suffer from that extremely rare condition in which a few sit-ups would kill you. And that would suck, because then you'd spend the rest of your life never knowing what it's like to do a sit-up. You'd watch everyone else, and then you'd have no recourse but to lift your face to the heavens and demand to know why, why you were afflicted with this curse. So really, it kind of puts the whole spoiler thing in perspective.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

This Open Letter to Christmas Music

Dear Christmas Music,

I don't hate you. I want you to realize that this isn't personal. You are not the problem. (To be fair, sometimes you're the problem, but only when you're Christmas Shoes.) My problem is with stores that play you too early, and they are making me not like you. It's their fault, not yours.

You must understand, I like hearing Christmas music in December. It's a staple of the season, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My wife and I have a tradition every Christmas Day. We put on John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together, one of the greatest Christmas albums of all time. I've been listening to that album since I can remember, and I will keep listening to it every Christmas I'm around.

Monday, November 5, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "The Autumn of Break-Ups"

Quick Review: A solid episode that keeps things moving. And there's a cute dog, so everyone wins. 

Episode Synopsis: With a rash of relationships on rocky ground, Ted and Victoria find themselves at a romantic crossroads, while Robin thinks Barney's screwy when he decides to employ a dog as his wingman. -tvguide  

Spoilers ahead, so you might want to watch the episode before proceeding any further. Of course, that choice is up to you. You might just be a bad boy of sorts who doesn't care about spoilers. That might even be your catch phrase, "I don't care about spoilers because I'm a bad boy." And really, if that's your catchphrase, you need a new one. That isn't going on a t-shirt and will not become an internet meme until everyone gets sick of it. You need a better catchphrase is all I'm saying. Hey, don't shoot the messenger, I'm just telling you what everyone else won't.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The Penny Dilema

It's a trite but true statement. A penny costs more to make than it's worth. This is a classic gem, often used to point to the foibles of government inefficiency and bureaucracy. It's also true, and almost everyone has a solution on how to solve this baffling coinage dilemma. (And by everyone, I mean the people who actually think about these things, which is most likely a very small number of people. But it sounds better when I write 'everyone' so that's the pronoun I'm using.)

President Obama called for a new, cheaper recipe in the production of pennies and nickels. This would bring the cost of production in line with what the coins are worth. It would also make it less likely for amateur metallurgists to buy up tons and tons and pennies, melt them down, and use them to build giant robot armies.

However, some advocate a more radical step of abolishing the penny entirely. They argue that if we should not only stop making pennies, but stop using them altogether and instead round everything up or down to the nearest five cent increment. While on the surface that idea might have merit, the more we look at what it actually means, the more I have to say that it's an impractical idea. (The preceding sentence is my diplomatic way of calling that idea one of the most idiotic suggestions anyone has ever made and you should be ashamed of ever thinking it let alone speaking the words out loud.)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

This Review of Wreck-It Ralph

Quick Review: Insert Coin as fast as possible. You need to see this movie.

Full Review: If, like me, you grew up in the arcade, feeding quarter after quarter to the likes of Donkey Kong, Q*Bert, Pac Man, Mario Brothers, and countless other arcade games, you are going to feel like this movie was made just for you. Wreck-It Ralph is a love letter to video games, arcades, and every bad guy who ever made you see the dreaded 'Game Over' screen. It also asks a very profound question: what if the bad guy doesn't want to be a bad guy anymore?

That's the premise of this film. Ralph is the villain in the arcade game Fix-It Felix Jr., which you can play right here. After thirty years of wrecking the place, he wants to be a hero for once and not be tossed out like garbage. Thus begins an amazing hero's quest as only a villain could take.

That premise right there sold me on this movie. Not just me, but also my inner eight-year old. That kid absolutely loves video games, and I knew he'd enjoy this movie. I brought him along with me to the screening so I could talk to him after it was over. As this is a film for all ages, I thought this review would be better from that perspective. This is why I've invited my inner eight year old, who I'm calling little Charlie, to help review this movie.