Monday, October 29, 2012

How I Met Your Mother delayed

Tonight's episode of How I Met Your Mother is delayed because of hurricane Sandy. My thoughts and prayers are for everyone on the east coast. Stay safe everyone.

Friday, October 19, 2012

This Open Letter to DVD Commentaries

Dear DVD Commentaries,

Look, I know I bought the deluxe edition DVD because you were on it. In fact, I made sure to get the edition with two different tracks, one with the cast and the other with the writers and producers. I was so excited to have you in my media library because I knew it would just expand my movie enjoyment to have you with me.

And yet, here we are, over a year or more later and I still haven't listened to you. Oh, I've watched the movie half-a-dozen times or more, and the next time I keep telling myself I'll actually get to you. I don't even read the trivia section on the IMDB page because I don't want to spoil anything. It's going to be great, I tell myself, when I can finally learn all the secrets of the film, the stuff I never noticed. It's going to make watching the movie a completely different experience.

Top Ten Reasons You Should Read My Book

Yes, this is a bit of shameless self-promotion. Consider it the curse of high self-esteem.

As you may be aware, I wrote and self-published a book. Of course, it's more likely you're not aware of it. I get it, you're busy and have things to do. No, no, I understand. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'd just really like you all to read my book.

Unless I'm being too eager, and in that case I don't think anyone should read it. Ever. In fact, it's vile, offensive filth, and it will corrupt your children and lower their test scores. You all should make sure everyone has heard of this book and knows never to read any of it. Especially tell any teenagers you see, because they are known to avoid what you tell them to avoid.

If you're still on the fence, then allow me to give you ten great reasons to read my book.

10) No paper cuts.
Ever since the dawn of civilization, when man first put pen to papyrus and wrote down his thoughts, he always had to contend with the paper cut. For millennia, we've been tormented by those small, annoying cuts that we don't even realize we have until we have to go chop onions. (Or lemons. Sometimes it's nice to cut lemons. If your garbage disposal smells funny, just drop a few lemon wedges down, run it, and it'll smell really nice.)

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, your fingers will no longer be held captive by the scourge of paper. Whether you use a Kindle or your laptop, tablet, or phone to read (since you can download the Kindle app for free for all your devices) you can read with the assurance that my book won't draw blood.

Monday, October 15, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "Who Wants to be a Godparent?"

Quick Review: It all but ignores the outside relationships and focuses on the gang, and it's all the better for it. 

Episode Synopsis: Unable to decide which of their friends would make the best godparents to Marvin, Lily and Marshall put them all to a test. -tvguide

Spoilers ahead, so you might not want to read ahead if you haven't seen the episode. That's like skipping ahead to the end of a book to find out who did it. Really? That's how you read? Well, it looks like someone is not going to get to watch any television at all tonight. Ok, you can watch television. But nothing violent. Ok, it can be a little violent. In fact, if you're planning to watch Die Hard, count me in. That movie gets better and better. Anyway, there's an episode review below that I have to get to, but after that, we're watching Die Hard.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Do you still call it a DVD?

I just bought The Avengers on DVD. Well, that's only partially true. There's a Blu-ray in there as well, but I don't know if I'm going to use that term for it. I like the term DVD, and even though "technically" a Blu-ray is different, my brain files it away as DVD. That's just what is is. A CD plays music. A DVD is a movie. My brain has no need for another term for what is essentially the same thing. You put a disk into a player and a movie comes on.

Yes, all you technically savvy people will be able to fill me in on how exactly a Blu-ray is different. (Not to mention different from the HD-DVD.) I know all this. I know about storage capacity and high definition and things like that. I get it. But you have to understand, it's still the same size and shape as a DVD, so that's what I'm going to call it. True, the case is slightly smaller, but when I want to put in a movie on a disk, it's going to be on a DVD. I might eventually come to terms with the new terminology, but for now it's just one extra step in my thinking process that just isn't needed.

Monday, October 8, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "Nannies"

Quick Review: You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want Mrs. Buckminster to tell you it's going to be all right.

Episode Synopsis: Lily and Marshall have trouble finding a nanny for Marvin and learn that it is due to an elaborate scheme Barney invented to meet women. Meanwhile, Robin and Ted argue over who is in a more serious relationship. -tvguide 

Spoilers ahead, so make sure you've seen the episode first. Sure, you might be strong and forge ahead, having not watched the episode. And you might think that it's great, just reading about the episode without having first experienced it. But deep down, you'll regret it. Your soul will be on fire, as if thousands of firecrackers detonated inside it, and you don't want that. They'll hear your wail of anguish all the way in Piano Town.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

This Relationship Corner: Try it, You'll Like It

My wife has a habit of putting a book in my hand and demanding I read it. I just finished one a few weeks ago, in fact. We're both book-lovers, so reading has always been a shared interest. However, we often like to read different things, making it hard to talk about books because we don't know what the other is reading. This is why she assigns me homework, because she wants to talk to be about the books she loves so much.

Reading a book is a pretty serious time commitment, which is why I can be pretty picky about what I read. However, when my wife hands me a book, I'll often drop whatever I'm already reading and plow into it. Over the years, she's handed me many, many books and I've enjoyed all of them. Now, when she hands me something, I know I'll enjoy it, or at the very least enjoy talking about it with her.

Monday, October 1, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: "The Pre-Nup"

Quick Review: They certainly not wasting any time this season.

Episode Synopsis: Barney's extensive and comprehensive prenup leads the guys to put forth their own relationship principles, which their significant others do not find agreeable. Meanwhile, an incensed Quinn responds with her own prenup. -tvguide 

There's major spoilers ahead, so you might want to watch the episode first before reading this. Otherwise,  there's a pretty big spoiler penalty, and you wouldn't want that. It could cost you all your suits, and when you go to suit up, all you'll have to wear is Aquaman underoos. That's also part of the penalty, because really, no one wants to wear Aquaman underoos. Not even Aquaman.