Why We Need Frivolous Bad News

This was supposed to be a big week for the SimCity franchise. Instead, reports of the new installment's failed launch are burning across the internet. There are well over a thousand reviews on Amazon, most of them giving SimCity a one-star rating. It's all anyone can talk about, and it's become a huge PR nightmare for EA, the publisher. I have a feeling that this massive failure will be remembered for a very long time. Whether this becomes a failure on the scale of Atari's ET remains to be seen. While I doubt it will be that epic a failure, this is still pretty bad.

Why is this such a huge story? Is it because SimCity is such a cherished franchise? That could be part of it. Many of us grew up playing SimCity and other related Sim games. This franchise is almost as beloved as Super Mario Brothers, and people still play the older games in the series. To see a one-time giant fall is kind of a big deal.

There's also the fact that this failure is caused by a key new component of the game - you can only play the game with an active internet connection. If you can't connect to EA's servers, you can't play your game. Many gamers hated this idea, wanting the option to play offline and not have to depend on the often unreliable internet to get their SimCity Fix. They even brought this up to EA representatives and found themselves soundly ignored. So for some people, this is a heaping helping of "I told you so" mixed with Schadenfreude.

But I have another theory why this is becoming a huge news story. This is the kind of bad news that we need.

Can I be part of the conspiracy?

Everyone believes in one kind of conspiracy theory or another. We faked the moon landing. We're being lied to about 9/11. Warren G. Harding was a real person. All sorts of groups are supposed to be working behind the scenes to influence history: the Freemasons, the Illuminati, Scrabble enthusiasts. Free will is an illusion, because all our choices are predetermined by some shadowy cabal. If any of this is true, I have but one question.

Can I be part of it?

I'd be perfect as part of the conspiracy. While I may not have vast conspiracy experience, I've seen almost every episode of the X-Files, so I think I have the gist of it. I'm very good at siting around a table in some bunker, as I have experience playing Dungeons and Dragons. I figure a conspiracy is pretty similar. You roll some dice and make it up as you go along. I'm not averse to wearing a cloak.