Saturday, September 28, 2013

I Blame George Takei

So there I was, ready to use my time productively. I was going to accomplish everything on my ever-growing to-do list. And then George Takei convinced me to write a joke review on Amazon instead. He's such a bad influence.

I'm not normally a fan of potty humor, but I just had to make an exception in this case. If you're wondering why I chose to spoof 'The Raven' by Edgar Allen Poe, I direct you to the classic Tuscan Whole Milk review. This isn't the first time I've spoofed The Raven either.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

How I Met Your Mother: "The Locket/Coming Back"

Quick Review: If this is what we can expect from this final season, I'm good.

Episode Synopsis: It's Robin and Barney's wedding weekend on Long Island, where the couple make an unsettling family discovery, while Marshall is winging it back East for the big day, but runs into some problems, and Lily has a confrontation with Ted over his long-standing attachment to Robin. / Robin is concerned about how Barney will take bad news about his brother, while Marshall scrambles to find transportation to the wedding, and an uncomfortable Ted deals with flying solo in a romantic hotel. -tvguide

Spoilers ahead, and you will probably want to view the episode before you venture any further. If you do venture, may I point out that there are some really exciting tourist destinations you may be interested in, including a goat that can blow smoke rings. You don't want to miss that. But I do recommend you bring your leather driving gloves. It's statistically safer.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

This Open Letter to Paramount

Dear Paramount,

Let's dispense with pleasantries and get right down to business. You won. It wasn't even a fair fight. In your corner you have Muhammad Ali in an M1 Abrams tank. In my corner I have a sock puppet with a missing eye. We both knew how this was going to end.

Today is the day you released the Star Trek Into Darkness Blu Ray. A while back I was dismayed to learn that you weren't putting all the special features on one release. Instead, you got the bright idea to give different stores different versions, so that each retailer can boast its own set of exclusives. Now, either I buy two or even three copies of the same movie to have all the features, or I choose which features I can live without. It's like Sophie's Choice, except this isn't the Holocaust, it's only a Blue Ray home release, and I'm being incredibly petty.