This Open Letter to the Used Game Sticker I Can't Fully Peel Off

Dear used game sticker I can't fully peel off,

Can't you get the hint? You are no longer wanted here. You've served your purpose, alerting me that you are a much cheaper version of a game I want. You have allowed me to not only get a game for a much cheaper price, but ensure that this transaction doesn't put a cent in the hands of game companies who refuse to release a 'Greatest Hits' version of the game. You did exactly as you were told, and I commend you for it.

But now it's time to go. You just can't let go. I try to peel you off, but what I get is that white under-sticker residue that tenaciously clings to the game. I can't have that. I need you to smoothly peel off and be like you were never there. I need to remove your presence from my life, and I need you gone yesterday.  It's nothing personal, I just don't want you ruining the aesthetics of my game collection.

This Open Letter to Nintendo

Dear Nintendo,

Today I bought the Metroid Prime Trilogy for Wii, and you aren't going to see a dime of that money. It's too bad, because it wasn't cheap. In fact, the going rate for this game on Amazon is about $70 used, if you're lucky. That's a lot of money you chose to leave on the table, money that is going straight into the resale market's hands. Thing is, you might try to blame places like Amazon or Gamestop, and that might be the case for Sony or Microsoft. Not you, though. This is all your fault.

Why is it your fault? Because you didn't release very many copies. Why? The Metroid Prime games were huge on both the Gamecube and the Wii. In fact, this compilation gives us the chance to play the first two Metroid Prime games with 16:9 aspect ratio and the Wii controls, which are so much better than the Gamecube controller. What a fantastic concept, you should be commended for this. Instead, I condemn you.