This Relationship Corner: Deal-Breakers and Details

Let’s talk about lists. No, I don’t mean jousting, although that isn’t a terrible metaphor. No, I’m talking about the lists we have about our ideal mate. (If you’re already in a relationship, I’m hoping that your list is your mate. If it isn’t, don’t leave it around for them to find; that’s worse than printing out a resume at work.)

There are two pitfalls when it comes to lists, and they both have to do with dealbreakers. The first pitfall is not having any dealbreakers. This can be a problem, because not being picky enough is how you end up being the getaway driver in a series of cross-country bank heists. You need standards, and you need to respect yourself enough to demand them from others. Don’t be afraid to turn down potential relationships because of a dealbreaker. That’s one of the reasons people have a string of bad relationships – they have no standards and then wonder why every person they’ve dated is terrible.