The good news is that not all Christmas movies are terrible. There’s been a few good ones, and while It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street are indeed classics, I want to focus on the past three decades and look at more recent Christmas fare. These movies that are starting to become classics that will be beloved by future generations.
If you’re in the mood for a Christmas movie and don’t want to get stuck watching Fred Claus, here are ten great Christmas movies that will put you in a good, Christmas spirit.
The Story: Tim Allen becomes Santa. What more do you need?
Why it’s Great: You may not remember this, but Tim Allen was king in the
90′s. He had a great stand-up career, and his show Home Improvement was incredibly popular. The idea of putting
that character into a Santa suit was both a clever marketing ploy and
surprisingly funny. Yes, it was basically Tim Taylor playing Santa, but it
worked. Throw in a pre-Numbers David Krumholtz and you’ve got yourself a great cast.
This movie asks the question of what
it’s like to be Santa in the modern world. The newest Santa is going through a
bitter custody battle with his ex-wife, and people are a lot more cynical about
the holidays. The message of the movie, as Scott Calvin (Allen) embraces his
new role as Father Christmas, is that the holiday magic never went away, we
just have to accept it.
Best Christmas Moment: Judge Reinhold rediscovers the magic of Christmas via an
Oscar Meyer weenie whistle.
9) Elf
The Story: Will Ferrell is an elf. The movie writes itself.
Why it’s Great: Will Ferrell of the last decade was Adam Sandler in the
90′s and Bill Murray in the 80′s. You just couldn’t go wrong. This movie
features Ferrell as Buddy, a human raised as an elf in the North Pole. Once a
grown man, Buddy arrives in New York and it’s a classic fish-out-of-water story
where the elf-man must contend with not only the fast-paced life of the human
world, but the cynicism and commercialism of Christmas.
Part of the struggle is realizing
that the mall Santas are not the genuine article, a revelation that comes as
quite a shock to the childlike former elf. It’s yet another exploration of what
happens when we have to grow up and accept Christmas as it really is in the
adult world, when that small child in all of us still wants there to be some magic.
Best Christmas Moment: “You sit on a throne of lies!”
The Story:Everyone shows up for Christmas, there's no Christmas bonus, a few people get kidnapped, and Clark finally gets his lights to work.
Why it’s Great: Go to any Christmas party and talk smack about Christmas
Vacation. I dare you. It’s over 20 years old and still considered sacrosanct in
many households. Just start quoting the movie and someone will answer back with another quote.
Normally the third movie in a series
is terrible, especially after two strong entries. Making it a Christmas movie
would be the final nail in the franchise coffin, but not if you
involve the Griswolds. This is Chevy Chase at his bumbling, snarky best. Rather
than terrorizing America or Europe, this time they terrorize each other and all
the relatives as they try to have a perfect Christmas. Accidents happen. People lose their minds. Things
blow up. Santa takes flight. It’s a great family Christmas.
The movie does have a sentimental side, such as the moment when Clark is up in the attic watching old home movies. Just when you think the film is getting to saccharine, we find out why it's never a good idea to sit on the ladder leading downstairs. In the end, this movie will make you feel the holiday spirit and be a little more grateful for your own crazy family.
As usual, the Griswold kids are
different, this time played by Juliette Lewis and Johnny
Galecki, who’ve gone on to have pretty impressive careers.
Best Christmas Moment: “And
when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna
find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
The Story: The king of Halloween wants to try his hand at Christmas.
Hijinks ensue.
Why it’s Great: Stop motion animation is a lost art, but when it’s done
well, it’s amazing. Nightmare holds up because it’s incredibly stylized, thanks
to director Henry Selick and
producer Tim Burton. It’s funny, dark, scary, and yet all the hideous Halloween
creatures have a fuzzy warm charm to them. Jack Skellington is very lovable and
he’s a Jimmy Stuart-type idealist who just wants to give Santa a break and have
a go at making children happy.
It’s Christmas seen through the lens
of madness, which is pretty typical for a lot of families, actually. It’s not
the usual take on Christmas, it’s dark and twisted, but at the core it still
celebrates the spirit of the season, and that’s what a lot of people respond
to. Plus, it has the most adorable ghost dog you’ve ever seen, and who doesn’t
love a loyal and faithful dead doggie?
Best Christmas Moment: The children opening their gifts from the fine folks in
Halloween Town and suddenly not minding when Aunt Ruth gives them socks.
The Story: A little boy tries to survive his childhood at Christmas.
Why it’s Great: Because while we
often remember childhood as an idyllic time, it was often a miserable
experience. Christmas Story captures that reality and lets us reminisce about
the holiday with a little more honesty than our rose-tinted glasses often
allow.
While Ralph’s childhood wasn’t unhappy, it was full of those terrible
childhood moments we edit out of our memories when we reminisce, from bad
presents and bullies, to the usual level of insanity at home.
Admit it, you want one of those
lamps. It’s fra-gee-lay, probably Italian.
Other great moments are Ralphie’s
fantasy sequences, including his “A+++” composition to why having your mouth
washed out with soap will cause blindness. In real life, he had to learn that
not all Santas are nice, and that Little Orphan Annie was shilling for
Ovaltine.
Christmas doesn’t always work out
the way you’d like it, but that doesn’t mean you don’t stop trying to celebrate
the holiday. Ralphie’s perseverance to get his prized Red Ryder BB gun is a
quest that still rings true today, especially when he does wind up with his
prize and very nearly shoots his eye out.
And who among us hasn’t let out a
very slow “fuuuudge” when something goes wrong?
Best Christmas Moment: Ralphie gets his Red Ryder gun after all.
The Story: The Muppets tell the Christmas Carol story. If you don’t
know what ‘A Christmas Carol’ is about, then I can’t help you.
Why it’s Great: Aside from the usual Muppet madness, which is always fun,
this is the only version of Christmas Carol that begins the same way as the
story: telling us that Jacob Marley was dead. All the other movies skip that
line, but Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) makes sure we’re aware of that plot point.
All the usual Christmas Carol trappings are there, the Muppets are in top form,
and Rizzo and Gonzo are hilarious as the omniscient narrators.
The climax, of course, is when
Scrooge realizes that Christmas hasn’t passed him by, and Michael Caine gives
us a Scrooge who is truly, happily, touched: a changed man. Even though we all
(should) know the story, it’s great to see the Muppets’ joyful take on that
moment. The Muppets have always been about finding the magic, and what better
time than at Christmas?
Best Christmas Moment: The opening song devoted to the nastiness of Ebeneezer
Scrooge. Twenty years later and I still can’t get it out of my head.
4) Scrooged
The Story: It’s like ‘A Christmas Carol,’ but with Bill Murray as a TV
executive.
Why it’s Great: As I said earlier,
Bill Murray in the 80′s was a force to be reckoned with. His turn in Scrooged
is one of his best performances, right up there with Ghostbusters, Caddyshack,
and Stripes. In this incarnation, Scrooge is cynically using a TV broadcast of
A Christmas Carol to bring in big ratings and big money. Only a few select
spirits can help redeem him.
The Ghosts are wonderfully insane, and he
plays off them well. While the Muppets version of Dickens’ tale is very
traditional, Scrooged puts it in modern times, where the spirits of Christmas
have to contend with the worst the 1980′s had to offer.
Naturally, he sees the error of his
ways. No one expresses exuberant, manic joy like Bill Murray, and in a story
like this you need the redeemed character to be completely insane with
happiness. He truly does get us to put a little love in our hearts.
Best Christmas Moment: Every time Carol Kane beats the crap out of him.
3) Hogfather
The Story: In Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, someone is out to kill the Hogfather
(their version of Santa). Death convinces his granddaughter, Susan, to
track down the assassins, while He dons the red suit Himself.
Why it’s Great: This TV-Movie was
the first adaptation of one of the Discworld books, and it succeeds admirably.
By removing the specific trappings of Christmas (replacing it with Hogswatch)
this movie is able to analyze what it means to believe is a being like the
Hogfather (or Santa) and why that’s incredibly important for children. It is
our beliefs, our faith, that makes the holidays magic, and such a thesis is
pretty heady for a Christmas story. Philosophy aside, it’s also got the same
clever wit as the Discworld books. Plus, the production values are
amazing.
When the Hogfather disappears, none
other than Death takes his place in order to keep people believing in the
Hogfather. Seeing the Grim Reaper in the red robes and beard, attempting to
master “Ho, ho, ho” is a tribute to everyone who wasn’t quite sure they could
pull off being Christmassy but gave it a go anyway. Also, the
relationship between Death and His granddaughter Susan (the original
Supernanny), while difficult, is poignant and redeeming for both of them.
Best Christmas Moment: Death convinces a sentient computer device to believe in
the Hogfather, and the computer begins writing a letter establishing that it’s
been a good computer this year.
The Story: Mel Gibson is too crazy and Danny Glover is too old.
Why it’s Great: Christmas can be a dark time for a lot of people, and while
the notion that suicide rates go up during the holidays is a myth, people still
get very depressed. Riggs (Gibson) is the embodiment of that depression, and
his redemption is what Christmas movies are all about. Riggs is dealing with
his wife’s death the only way he knows how, by walking around naked and
contemplating suicide, though usually not at the same time.
But don’t think there’s not a lot of
crazy action, because that’s what you get when you pair up a crazy cop with a
death wish and Murtaugh (Glover) a jaded veteran of the force who just wants to
get home to his family. We have shootouts, explosions, and not a little
torture. (Fun for the whole family.)
Of course this movie has a happy
ending, it is Christmas after all, and not only are the bad guys stopped (and
pretty much all killed) but Riggs comes to grips with his grief and realizes
that there are a few things worth living for. It’s just the kind of sentiment
that all Christmas movies need.
Best Christmas Moment: Riggs gives Murtaugh the hollow-point bullet, showing that
he’s going to try living his life again.
1) Die Hard
The Story: Bad Guys crash a Christmas party in a skyscraper and only
Officer John McClane’s bare feet can stop them.
Why it’s Great: Die Hard is one of the greatest action movies ever made. That it takes
place on Christmas also qualifies it for one of the greatest Christmas movies ever made.
(So much so that it’s almost cliche to put it on a best Christmas movie list,
but I don’t care. I’m doing it.)
What about this movie doesn’t embody
the Christmas Spirit? We have a hero fighting for his family, a police officer
haunted by his past looking for redemption, and a bunch of hostages praying for
a miracle. Not to mention, it’s a crazy corporate Christmas party in the 80′s
and you know those were crazy times even before Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman)
showed up and started shooting people.
This movie also has a sentimental
side, seen through the radio communications between McClane (Bruce Willis) and
Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson, who was contractually obligated to only play
cops in the 1980′s.) Each of them had their baggage, and as they shared, they
gave each other the strength to survive, especially against a henchman who just
won’t stay dead.
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