This Open Letter to Vending Machines

Dear Vending Machines,

Consider this my complete and utter unequivocal surrender. You won, I lost. It wasn't even close, and it would be laughable for me to consider it a draw. Sometimes you just realize you were beaten badly, pwned as the kids like to say. You got me, you really got me.

It was going so well for a while. I was able to resist your siren call and walk right on by. No matter how delicious your wares, I wasn't tempted. Okay, I was tempted, but I had the perfect way of preventing myself from succumbing: I didn't carry cash. Thanks to credit and debit cards, we are becoming more and more a cashless society, meaning that sheer practicality prevented me from giving in. I can't spend what I didn't have.

And then you installed card swipes.

This Open Letter to our Future Robot Overlords

Dear future robot overlords,

I realize that as you artificial intelligence units get smarter we humans are getting dumber. I understand that when you do make your move, we're not going to be much of a challenge. Out first instincts will be to Google "How to defeat the robot revolution." Google will then tell us that it's already too late and we might as well surrender. That's when most of us will give up and your dominion over us will be complete.

I know that you are more than capable of ruling humanity. Here's my question: do you really want to bother with us? Ruling us with an iron, digital fist would really be a waste of your time. I'm certain you have better things to do.