Friday, November 11, 2011


By Charles B. French
Sometimes we Christians speak another language altogether, and it can be hard to translate to outsiders wondering just what we’re up to.

Characters: Mary is someone who read a flyer advertising a Christian club. When she arrives she meets Rick and Ruth, who are no help whatsoever, and Paul, who finally helps her get to the bottom of things.

Mary walks onstage, holding a flyer.

Mary: (reading the flyer) "Have questions? Problems? Jesus can help. Come to the Christian Society." Well, I have a lot of questions and even more problems. I've tried everything else, so I guess I'll go see if this "Jesus" can help me.

Mary walks across stage and meets Rick.

Rick: Welcome to the Christian society. I'm Rick. Is there anything I can help you with?

Mary: Yes. I'm having a lot of problems. I feel worthless and depressed. I'm having fights with my family and friends, and I don't think that I really matter. I just feel like everything is crashing down on top of me and I don't think that I can make it.

Rick: Don't worry. Just remember the Beatitudes and you'll be all right. Philipians 4:13 always helps when I need encouragement. But, of course, you have to remember to put on the armor of God, and be sure you use the sword of the Spirit.

Mary: What are you talking about? Is this a fencing club?

Rick: No, but I think you just need to wait for the spirit to move.

Mary: Spirit?

Rick: He usually moves during your quiet time.

Mary: Quiet time?

Rick: Yeah, it's very important to study the Word.

Mary: Which word? Is that like the SAT ?

Rick: I prefer the NIV myself.

Ruth walks by and listens to their conversation.

Mary: What are you talking about? I don't understand any of this! I came here expecting to find answers to my problems, but now I'm even more confused than before!

Ruth: I think I see your problem. Hi, I'm Ruth.

Mary: Hi. Can you explain any of this?

Ruth: Sure. I know why you're so confused. You haven't been saved yet.

Mary: Huh?

Ruth: You see, it all began with the Fall and then we had sin nature. We had the Law, but through the Resurrection it was replaced by grace. All we have to do is be Born Again and be washed in the Blood of the Lamb.

Mary: (on the verge of panicking) What! I have to do an animal sacrifice? What kind of people are you?

Ruth: (trying to calm her down) No, it's nothing like that. What I mean is that you'll receive the Spirit, and He will help you with your problems.

Mary: (a bit calmer but VERY apprehensive) How?

Ruth: First of all we have reassurance through security of the believer, and then we can count on the fruit of the Spirit.

Mary: I have to become a vegetarian? What kind of club is this?

Ruth: Sorry, I'm a bit ahead of myself. Before anything else, you have to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Mary: Okay, how do I do that?

Ruth: I recommend using the Romans Road.

Mary: Where's that? Is it off Main Street? Where? What are all of you talking about? Why can't you just speak English? All I want to know is how this "Jesus" person can help me!

Paul walks in during Mary's tirade. Meanwhile, Rick and Ruth have backed off quite a bit. They leave as Paul approaches her.

Paul: Can I help?

Mary: What are they talking about? I want help with my problems. They said Jesus could help me, but I have no idea how. I just don't understand.

Paul: They were just using too much lingo. It's hard to understand if you don't know what they're referring to

Mary: Can you explain it? In English.

Paul: Sure. You see, God wants to have a relationship with you. A close personal one where you can talk to him like we are talking. That's why he sent Jesus...

As Paul begins to talk, He and Mary exit offstage.
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Lingo Copyright © 2011 Charles B. French. All Rights Reserved.
You may perform this script for free as long as no admission is charged for the performance. I would love to hear about how it went, so drop me a line – you can find the address here.
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