Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Time to Take a Stand

As a writer, I have to let my voice be heard. I will not just sit idly by on the sidelines. I know this will make some people upset, but I can't in good conscience not address some of the most pressing issues of our times.

1 - It is morally wrong to have Skittles in trail mix. When I'm grabbing for a handful of a not-very-good-for-me snack, I'm expecting a certain constancy. When I see small, round colored candies, I'm expecting either an M&M or, if I'm blessed, a Reece's Pieces. Those go well with the salty pretzels, goldfish, and Chex cereal (or its generic knockoff). They all have the same crunchy makeup and can be gobbled in a hurry. But a Skittle? Suddenly I've got something chewy in that mix, and it makes grabbing that second handful a problem, because I'm still not done with the first. Now I have to chew, and that makes me lose my trail mix momentum.

2 - We deserve a public apology for X-men 3. I was, and still am, a huge fan of the first two X-men films. I also thought that First Class was a fantastic return to form and a prequel done right. I'm still bitter about X3 and I will never purchase that DVD nor will I even deign to watch it on television. X3 ruined a very good thing. The first two movies were great setup, and it had all of us expecting some payoff Return of the Jedi style. Instead, all we got were Ewoks. It was just a sloppy, terrible, betrayal of the storylines that had been set up in the first two films. We got an apology for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Why not X3?

I would like to think that the fact that First Class is part of that apology. The continuity in First Class contradicts a lot of what happened in X3, almost as if the studio is disavowing that film, and I am totally on board for that. I already believe that there was no sequel to Ghostbusters, there were only 3 Die Hard and Indiana Jones movies, and that the Shrek series stopped at 2. So if we can throw X3 down the memory hole, that would be great. (Or at least make another movie that involves time travel that undoes everything that happened in X3).

3 - More Cowbell. There are too many fevers around the world, and we in America have the cure and need to share it with others. It's the right thing to do.

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