The Best Guardians

With Guardians of the Galaxy hitting theaters, I thought I would look back on several other groups who called themselves Guardians. Because really, is there any better name for a group of heroes than Guardians of [insert name here?] It's a perfectly fine name for a group of heroes as far as I'm concerned, which is why I think we should take a look at other groups who've used that moniker.

Guardians of Childhood
(from Rise of the Guardians)

If you're looking for heroes, who better than the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, The Sandman, Jack Frost, and of course, Santa Claus. These five legendary figures do more than deliver holiday presents, take teeth, and give you sweet dreams. They also protect children from the dark dangers of the world.

After all, Santa only works one night, what's he doing the rest of the year. Apparently, slaying monsters. While I like the idea of a tatted up Kris Kringle, I just hope he doesn't start experimenting with gauges. That would just look silly on that jolly old elf.

While the movie itself was a bit underwhelming, the book series is worth checking out. (And for a great alternate take on what these icons of childhood are really up to, I highly recommend The Discworld book Hogfather. Or the movie, which is utterly fantastic.)

Top Ten Reasons You Should Read My Book

Yes, this is a bit of shameless self-promotion. Consider it the curse of high self-esteem.

As you may be aware, I wrote and self-published a book. Of course, it's more likely you're not aware of it. I get it, you're busy and have things to do. No, no, I understand. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'd just really like you all to read my book.

Unless I'm being too eager, and in that case I don't think anyone should read it. Ever. In fact, it's vile, offensive filth, and it will corrupt your children and lower their test scores. You all should make sure everyone has heard of this book and knows never to read any of it. Especially tell any teenagers you see, because they are known to avoid what you tell them to avoid.

If you're still on the fence, then allow me to give you ten great reasons to read my book.


10) No paper cuts.
Ever since the dawn of civilization, when man first put pen to papyrus and wrote down his thoughts, he always had to contend with the paper cut. For millennia, we've been tormented by those small, annoying cuts that we don't even realize we have until we have to go chop onions. (Or lemons. Sometimes it's nice to cut lemons. If your garbage disposal smells funny, just drop a few lemon wedges down, run it, and it'll smell really nice.)

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, your fingers will no longer be held captive by the scourge of paper. Whether you use a Kindle or your laptop, tablet, or phone to read (since you can download the Kindle app for free for all your devices) you can read with the assurance that my book won't draw blood.

I Love the Second Draft

Have you ever watched a movie or a television show and realized that you could have done it better. With a little rewrite, you'd turn it from terrible or mediocre into something spectacular. Yes, you're falling into the hindsight is 20/20 trap, with a little bit of armchair quarterbacking to boot, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

I wrote earlier that the key to writing a book, or a play, or a screenplay, or anything, really, is to get the first draft written. Don't worry about making it perfect, just get through it. That way, once you're done, you can then apply all that hindsight onto what you just made. The best part is that unlike the movies or television shows, you can make those needed changes and make it better.

The first of many

This is the day I published my book.

Don't get excited. You aren't? Really? You know, a little excitement wouldn't kill you.

Today I officially uploaded my book, Guardians of Suncast Dale, to Amazon.com to be sold online. This is a day that I've been waiting on for a long time. I've worked well and hard for this day, and this day marks the beginning of a whole new life for me, the life of a professional writer.

Why am I not so excited?

Because this is the day I also made the first of many publishing mistakes. In this case, I screwed up the formatting for Kindle so the final copy is going to look funny until I can get it corrected, and that's going to take a few days. So I can't really tell anyone about this because I don't want to send anyone to a copy that looks weird. I wrote the page on Microsoft Word, and the pages for Word are very different than those on Kindle, and that's something I really should have looked at before confirming the submission.

I'm going to correct it, the real, final version will get out, and this will become a funny story. The first of many, because if you think that this is going to be the last screw-up, you are mistaken. This is before I even address the typos that might be in there, especially that one typo that completely changes the meaning.

My wife and I still laugh at an earlier draft in which my hero is fighting someone and "licks his head" instead of "kicks his head."

There is a takeaway. Mistakes happen, and sometimes you won't see them until after it's too late. There's no shame in it, and with Amazon, I'm going to get it corrected very easily. As a writer, you have to learn to expect mistakes. They are inevitable. Don't fear them, just learn from them for next time. That's what I'm going to do.

This is also the day I registered charlesbfrench.com and moved into the world of official domain owner.