Top Ten Reasons You Should Read My Book

Yes, this is a bit of shameless self-promotion. Consider it the curse of high self-esteem.

As you may be aware, I wrote and self-published a book. Of course, it's more likely you're not aware of it. I get it, you're busy and have things to do. No, no, I understand. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'd just really like you all to read my book.

Unless I'm being too eager, and in that case I don't think anyone should read it. Ever. In fact, it's vile, offensive filth, and it will corrupt your children and lower their test scores. You all should make sure everyone has heard of this book and knows never to read any of it. Especially tell any teenagers you see, because they are known to avoid what you tell them to avoid.

If you're still on the fence, then allow me to give you ten great reasons to read my book.


10) No paper cuts.
Ever since the dawn of civilization, when man first put pen to papyrus and wrote down his thoughts, he always had to contend with the paper cut. For millennia, we've been tormented by those small, annoying cuts that we don't even realize we have until we have to go chop onions. (Or lemons. Sometimes it's nice to cut lemons. If your garbage disposal smells funny, just drop a few lemon wedges down, run it, and it'll smell really nice.)

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, your fingers will no longer be held captive by the scourge of paper. Whether you use a Kindle or your laptop, tablet, or phone to read (since you can download the Kindle app for free for all your devices) you can read with the assurance that my book won't draw blood.

I Love the Second Draft

Have you ever watched a movie or a television show and realized that you could have done it better. With a little rewrite, you'd turn it from terrible or mediocre into something spectacular. Yes, you're falling into the hindsight is 20/20 trap, with a little bit of armchair quarterbacking to boot, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

I wrote earlier that the key to writing a book, or a play, or a screenplay, or anything, really, is to get the first draft written. Don't worry about making it perfect, just get through it. That way, once you're done, you can then apply all that hindsight onto what you just made. The best part is that unlike the movies or television shows, you can make those needed changes and make it better.