This Relationship Corner: The Major Procedure

What's the difference between a minor and major surgical procedure? The major procedure is what happens to you. That's how I feel when I have to go to the doctor or when my wife has to endure anything medical at all. A while back she went in for an outpatient procedure at the hospital. She was in and out that day, but it was still pretty major in my book. Fortunately everything went as well as it could have, and she is feeling so much better now.

This is a moment that can be a proving ground for relationships. I've written before about caring for your significant when they are sick, but that's nothing compared to supporting them through a surgical procedure. If there is one big rule in relationships, one commandment that should be written in stone, it's that when surgery is involved, you first priority is your partner.

This Relationship Corner: In sickness

It's as inevitable as the sun rising and setting, a traffic jam when you're in a hurry, and that television show you like getting cancelled. Your significant other is going to get sick. It might be a simple cold, a less simple flu, or an extremely complicated disease that gets them mentioned in a medical journal. Whatever they've got, you are now the designated go-to caregiver. They need something, you're the first call.

You'll hear a lot of advice about when you know you should get married, and I'm going to offer one more. You shouldn't marry someone until they've been really sick. (And you should at least wait until they get better for the wedding.) The reason you need for one, or both, of you to be sick is that you need to know what it's like when that happens. If you're the one who's sick, can you count on your boyfriend or girlfriend to be there for you? Can you depend on your significant other? If so, that's a good sign. If not, that's a sign that you should re-think a lifelong commitment.